GARY BURBANK AND HIS SPORTS AFICIONADOS VISIT BBHS

                                  Ron Heiert… rheiert@bishopbrosssart.org

             “And now here’s your host, Gary Burbank.”   With that introduction, the “Two Angry Guys” of 96 Rock, Tom Gamble and Richard Skinner followed the program plan to perfection as guest emcees at the 2^nd annual Mustangs Sports Stampede on Saturday, February 23^rd in Hegenauer Hall. 

Following the introduction, Burbank, one of America’s most legendary radio broadcasters and entertainers for over 40 years took his familiar position at center stage, along side a panel of local “sports aficionados” in addition to an extended standing ovation from the BBHS faithful.  The event was the first public appearance by the former 700 WLW radio host since his last day at the “big one” on Friday, December 21, 2007.

            Prior to that initial introduction, Tom Gamble introduced a special audio tribute to Burbank and the audience that included the final hour of Gary’s good-bye show in December, courtesy of the Broadbank Burbcasting Corporation.  Forever, the BBC will have a whole new meaning for residents of the tri-state thanks to the antics of Gary’s characters that included; Earl Pitts Uhmerikun, Gilbert Gnarley, Right Rev. Deuteronomy Skaggs, Eunice and Bernice, the Synonomous Bengal, Ludlow Bromley, Dan Buckles, and Ranger Bob.

            Following dinner, the Two Angry Guys wasted no time in firing up the audience once again, by injecting their ever-popular sports “opinions and comments” in rapid-fire fashion.  Players, teams, owners, no one avoided the subjected criticisms from this dynamic pair of entertainers who now can boast of hosting one of this area’s most entertaining shows on local radio. As many will remember, Skinner was the guest emcee at last year’s inaugural BBHS event that featured special guest and former University of Notre Dame Football Coach Gerry Faust.  The Two Angry Guys were reunited October 1, 2007 much to the delight and approval of sports fans in the tri-state.  

            One of Burbank’s most popular radio segments in Cincinnati resulted in the formation of a nationwide network of radio stations that hosted “Sports or Consequences.” Often times, Gary would be at his Florida plantation (personal studio within his house) while his associates, (Seg Dennison, Duke Sinatra, Russ, Doc, Rob, Rocko, and the others) would hold down the fort (production studio) in Cincinnati.   People across the country would tune in between 3:00 – 6:00 pm (EST) just to hear the general audience do their best (with the help of “grandpa’s stories at a bar”) to stump Gary and his Sports Aficionados.  The aficionados became Gary’s posse for sports trivia and ROCK!!! questions ….when called upon.  

            So in true “mustang spirit” BBHS, with the help from the Two Angry Guys presented their group of “Sports Aficionados” for this year’s Sports Stampede. The guest aficionados included; former Northern Kentucky University, Highlands and St. Thomas High School Head Basketball Coach, Kenny Shields. Also, holding down his place on stage was the long-time sports journalist from the Kentucky Post and one of the most respected supporters of Northern Kentucky high school sports, Terry Boehmker.

            Rounding out the aficionados panel was one of the area’s most knowledgeable experts (he told us….) on the “older hockey” game and its players, the Honorable Mayor of Alexandria, Dan McGinley. (We wanted to cover all the bases in case of those cold questions coming in from behind the net).

            The panel was now assembled with Commander Burbank in the cockpit (who just arrived from Florida two hours before the event), two angry guys agitating and navigating with full approval, a writer who looked lost without a deadline, a coach who looked lost without a clipboard, and a mayor who wished he could sue the ice he slipped on (at his house) 24 hours prior that resulted in a broken wrist and bruised ribs.

            In typical Burbank fashion, audience members quickly learned the rules of the game by the familiar sounds of;  “How’s mom ‘n nem.” Or being part of a self incriminating or “minusha” question that resulted in the audience member being blown up by sound engineer Bob Ross.  More often, the aficionados would successfully answer the barrage of sports trivia questions by proudly proclaiming, “We don’t…We don’t ….We don’t mess around ….hey.” 

            After a scolding from Angry Guy Tom Gamble to guests with pre-written questions (who would have ever planted questions…?),  BBBS faithful supporter Billie Kramer asked Burbank a question (on behalf of her shy husband) that boiled over Gamble with the unthinkable suggestion (it’s even hard to print thinking about it…) that the answer is a …..multiple choice. Now granted for all of you die-hard Burbank Sports or Consequences loyal followers, there are two things you never do.  First, ask Gary …“Can you name for me…..”  That will get you immediate extinction with the bomb.  Secondly, only give the aficionados help when they ask for it. They are a proud posse.  So to provide them multiple choice answers…..thennnnn…..to mutilate Stan Musial’s last name was too much for Gamble.  You probably heard the laughter and reactions throughout southern Campbell County at that point. Actually, it never stopped the entire evening.

            No question about it. The evening belonged to our “hometown hero” Gary Burbank. Our joint communities showed our pride in his accomplishments, contributions, and presence. First, Mayor Dan McGinley presented Gary a plaque and a key to the city that “doesn’t open many things” but a few beers.  Then BBHS Boosters President, Jeff Osterhage conveyed the gratitude of the BBHS family by calling Gary a “great uhmerikun."  In addition to the various auction items awarded to many other guests, the Grand Prize drawing of the Trip for Two to Maui was won by Mrs. Donna Wolfer of Alexandria. Her mother Mrs. Dolores Scheibly was in attendance with husband Don and was already soliciting support from the audience to be included as a possible part two companion with her daughter on the Hawaiian vacation. 

            Many thanks to each of our special guests; Gary Burbank, Tom Gamble, Richard Skinner, Coach Kenny Shields, Terry Boehmker, and Mayor Dan McGinley, for their generosity and support toward the benefit of the Sports Stampede.  To the officers of the BBHS Athletic Boosters; Jeff Osterhage and Cindy and Mark Pfefferman….to the planning committee members including; Beth Kramer, Gina Heeg, Jill Fessler, Bob Ross, Rick Woeste, to the many BBHS team leaders and volunteers of our Mustang athletic squads, to the BBHS Cafeteria, to Danny Schultz of St. Philip parish and Mark Hegener for the use of the tables and delivery truck, to our corporate sponsors including Steve Crawford of Crawford Insurance, PNC Bank, National City Bank, Barleycorn’s, Bathalter & Woeste, Schweitzer Livestock, Cold Spring Electrical Contractors, Inc., Kenny Bowman Trailers & Farm Equipment, Rechtin Heating, M&W Excavation, Varsity XL Inc., Ed Bosch – Catholic Order of Foresters, Town & Country Sports & Health Club, Miller Brands – Stagnaro Distributing, Brent Flaugher – Cincinnati Bell, Jim & Milissa Schack – ReMax, Gameworks, Classic Printing & Graphics, Cooper Funeral Home, Chas. Seligman Distributing Company – Budweiser, Ken’s Auto Care, and especially to our treasured guests in attendance who provided the financial support that ultimately benefits our student athletes. 

            In closing, it’s been a pleasure organizing these last two Sports Stampedes. I hope you enjoyed them.  And since Gary doesn’t mind me using his signoff, we’ll just say…

“This is your old pal Ranger Ron saying….This is your old pal Ranger Ron saying, “Adios Muchachos….We must be off……For there’s a hidden micropho……”